Your teacher may have taught you not to start sentences with And or But. Forget it! To really sound ‘Human,’ you should write how you speak.

– Use contractions, like it’s and you’ll and they’ll’ve.
– Throw in a conversational aside or two. Our sale just got even bigger. How about that?
– Change topic mid-sentence.
– Trail off mid


Assert your opinions. It’s not about how correct they are, it’s about how bold you are in your writing.

– Use phrases like I think…, I know…, It’s obvious that…, Any moron could see that…
– Use CAPS LOCK to convey certainty and ensure your voice is heard over others.
– Call out your competitors’ flaws. Try pointing out negatives in their:
– abilities
– visual identity (eg colour)
– opinions

Full of shame

Your teacher may have taught you to feel ashamed. Remember it! A deep sense of shame is key to sounding ‘Human.’

– Know when to apologise: …to save our customers time and money, sorry.
– Use your sentences as shields to hide your real feelings. Some tips on repressed writing:

– Write down your thoughts and look for the emotion words – angry, sad, happy, scared.
– Then, think about the opposite of that emotion. Did you write down sad? Then you’ll want to write with a ‘happy’ tone.
– An occasional burst of honesty is ok, but don’t let it disrupt your flow: We delight in bringing our customers not just cooling systems wanted to be a watercolourist but dozens of years of expertise.

– Not sure how you’re feeling? Just go numb: Goods and services are what we offer.


Master a balance of shameful confidence, and you’re well on your way to sounding ‘Human.’ And remember:

– Check everything you write against your Vision, Mission, and Values. Make sure it’s either supporting them, irrelevant to them, or standing in direct opposition to them.